"She delivered a fatal karate chop..."

Best line from the Best Obituary Ever:

As her involvement in the war deepened, Ms. Wake was trained by the British to kill with her bare hands (she delivered a fatal karate chop to a sentry at an arms factory), parachute into enemy-held territory and work a machine gun.

A fatal karate chop?!  I didn't know those existed outside of Star Trek!  Also - I did not know that was a skill I could learn.  Do you think I could pop in at the dojo and ask my sensei if he teaches that in his Karate for Everyone class?  Because even though I would never use it, I would love to be able to say, "Yeah, my karate chop is pretty lethal," and mean it. 

And for another thing, what do you think she was wearing when she killed that sentry?  I'm thinking a leather trench.  With her collar popped.  And cherry red lipstick.  And a beret.  And a silk scarf she was given by a duke who was madly in love with her.  She sounds like the type of gal who would not overlook these details.

***

In other news - did you see the cute sidebar title thingies?  Angela strikes again.  Much like the lady spy, I like to imagine her also wearing a leather trench, beret, scarf and red lippy while issuing a fatal karate chop of style and glam to this blog.

The New Me

If you're reading this on a reader head on over to the actual blog and have a look at the makeover.  HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!!!  Because it's awesome!

Some time last fall I asked Angela, my dear (internet) friend from way, way, way down south, if she'd be interested in making my blog a header.  She was.  But she needed a picture of me and as those are hard to come by she patiently waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Until lo, a few appeared.  And within a day the magic was done.  Plus a button, if your so inclined (see sidebar).  And I love it.  Well, Tyra is there.  How could I not love it?

Thanks Angela!!!  You are kind and good.  The next time I'm in New Zealand I'll give you a hug.

I won!

I'm a winner! 

The beautiful and talented and wonderful and New Zealand-y Angela over at Striking Keys picked me for this week's Friday Favicon Freebie.  I didn't even know that a favicon was a real thing and not something out of a sci-fi novel until she started this weekly giveaway.  It's those little icons that show up next to an address in the address bar.  Before I just had the boring Blogger icon next to my name but now when you have this blog open you will see a cute little word bubble.  Perfect, right?

Thanks for classing this joint up Angela.  Let's get together for cookies and cocoa some day.

I will be just as excited for my 647.

1. A sales rep came in and heard that one of our patients was named Jamie and said, "Hmm. That's unusual." Really? I looked back on our schedule and we've had a different Jamie coming in every single day this week. And clearly she did not grow up in Southern California in the 80s because you couldn't throw your jelly shoe 5 feet without hitting a Jamie on her blonde head (Fact 1: With the rare exception, all Jamies are blonde. Fact 2: I never actually owned a pair of jelly shoes.) There were at least 3 girls named Jamie at church just in my age group. And dozens at school. It would be like someone in about 10 years saying "Madison? You don't hear that one very often."

2. Last week our postman came into the office and said, "Today's my last day on the route, ladies. You'll be getting Crazy-Eyed Larry back." Rad! Who doesn't love a postman with crazy eyes?

3. It's so hot here that baby lizards are coming inside our office to cool down. One in an exam room and another in the x-ray room. He was no doubt trying to break into my Fortress of Solitude. And we just got word that one was found in the surgery up on the 4th floor. I like to imagine it took the elevator up.

4. This is my 501st post. Wooo! Some people would celebrate their 500th but some people are also better at noticing milestones when they occur. Typing that just made me think how odd it is that we put so much emphasis on 5s and 10s. You never hear of people going big for 51st anniversaries but give us a 50th and we bust out the balloons. But such is the world we live in. So let's show them all and go crazy over this 501st. Let's dance in the streets and erect statues and wave flags and throw confetti and raise our glasses of ginger ale to 501 more! At the very least I think we should all enjoy a refreshing Slurpee after work.

This Blog is an 80 year old woman

Well, what do you know, it's my 400th post. Did pinwheel fireworks sprout out of your computer? Because they sure did on mine.

So far I have celebrated by SENDING OUT RESUMES!!!!! And FILLING OUT ONLINE APPLICATIONS!!!!!!! I tell you, the fun never stops around here. I was just about to dig out my recorder to play Miley Cyrus' classic hit Party in the USA as I march down to the mail box to see if my unemployment paperwork has come in.

But how I'm really going to celebrate is by diving into the World's Largest Felt Collection to make something funny to give away to one of you. I'm going to attempt Richard Simmons on a bookmark.

If you want him leave me a comment telling me what your favorite breakfast cereal is and you'll be in the drawing. I ask because as I was pulling down my box of Rice Crispies from the top of the fridge this morning I counted 11 boxes of cereal up there. Which should be an indication to you that breakfast cereal is not just for breakfast 'round these parts.

And it should be noted that when I write "breakfast cereal" I'm writing it with a British accent because that is how I hear it in my head in the voice of Michael Palin:

Thankful

In last year's Thanksgiving post I said how grateful I was for bras and razors. I run pretty deep.

This year I'm thankful for this kid:

And this kid:

The nephews have been in town since Saturday and we've been reveling in them. The rest of the fam came into town last night. Did you hear the sonic boom when they crossed the California state line? You know what this means right? Seinfeld quotes and head measuring!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Have I mentioned how thankful I am for you? And chocolate? You and chocolate and Tyra Banks make my life complete.

I believe you all owe me paper

Dear Everyone Who Reads This Blog,

It's the one year anniversary of this blog. Aren't you so excited? Like possibly it's the greatest day of your life? Ever? Yeah, me too.

Let's take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Remember that time I watched Maynard the Slightly Retarded Dog? Or when I almost died driving to Arizona. And my explanation for my Deep and Abiding Love for Wayne Newton. And my letter to Jennifer Lopez. How about my feud with Wal-Mart. And all those funny stockings. Knights of Columbus, it's been a good year.

Thanks to everyone who comes to visit. Imagine me handing out chocolates and hugs.

Hugs and Kisses from your Best Pal,
Rachel =)

P.S. I put a load of new reviews up on the other blog. If you haven't had enough of this, take a gander.