Thursday, January 17, 2008

Prepare the confetti and noise makers!

I logged into Blogger and confetti shot out from my computer because this is my 100th blog post!!!! Okay, so maybe I made that up. But you could certainly imagine confetti couldn't you? For me? Alright, fine, moving on.

In honor of my 100th blog post I will now list 100 mostly uninteresting things about me that will only come in handy if I'm a category on Jeopardy. You might want to study up, just in case.

1.) Spatula is my favorite word
2.) I also like autumnal
3.) Solstice
4.) And forefend
5.) I’m the shortest in my family
6.) By a lot
7.) My legs especially are crazy short
8.) Like, laugh out loud short
9.) As in once upon a time Amanda looked at my legs and said, “Are your legs really that short?” and laughed out loud
10.) They’re so short that I can’t reach the pedals on the organ
11.) I took one semester of organ lessons at BYU
12.) I skipped most of the classes
13.) My teacher had eyes that peered deep into my soul and made me want to cry when I couldn’t reach the pedals
14.) I didn’t like feeling guilty about my midget legs
15.) But I’m not upset anymore about not being able to reach the pedals because that’s one less thing I have to worry about when I play the organ.
16.) Things I worry about while playing the organ include: Is it too loud? My fingers are sweaty and are sticking to the keys! What if I can’t stop myself from laughing through “In Our Lovely Deseret” and I can’t see the notes anymore? What if my knuckle knocks one of the preset buttons and makes the organ sound like Satan chose the stops?
17.) My knuckle once knocked one of the preset buttons and made the organ sound like Satan chose the stops.
18.) I love to buy lip balm/lip gloss
19.) My lips are always chapped
20.) I currently have 4 lip balms/lip glosses on my desk and 3 in my purse
21.) None of them are Chapstick because after 2 decades of faithfulness to it, Chapstick started giving me cold sores
22.) I had never had a cold sore before then
23.) I didn’t even know that they were cold sores when they showed up
24.) I called Chapstick and told them that I was pretty sure they changed their formula because 1.) I was getting cold sores and 2.) It smelled different. They said I was crazy
25.) I don’t think I was, in this case
26.) I don’t like cucumbers
27.) But I love pickles
28.) Dill, not sweet
29.) And very dill, not half-hearted dill
30.) And I like the pickle to stand alone.
31.) Not in anything like a hamburger or sandwich
32.) Or, heaven forefend, tuna salad. Bleh.
33.) I’ve broken my arm twice
34.) Both times roller skating
35.) My mom has put the Eternal Kibosh on me ever roller skating again
36.) My best friend was a competitive roller skater
37.) I didn’t know there was such a thing as a competitive roller skater until I met her
38.) I’ve never been roller skating with her, although I sat through many Saturday morning practices
39.) I’ve had pneumonia twice
40.) Both times I wanted to die
41.) The second time I had a fever of 104 and everything looked green
42.) My one wish is that everyone in the world will wake up one day and decided to switch to odorless everything (deodorant, shampoo, detergent)
43.) I’m fairly certain it will bring about world peace.
44.) I've never, not one, been able to see one of those 3-D pictures
45.) I wish that people would stop giving me tips on how to see them
46.) It’s never going to happen and I’m happy with my decision to give up on it
47.) I have a fear of stairs
48.) Both going up and coming down
49.) I fall in both directions
50.) I like celebrity gossip
51.) I’m not ashamed of that
52.) US Weekly is one of my favorite magazines
53.) And my favorite section in it is the “Celebrities: They’re just like us!”
54.) Because I love to see famous people carrying 30 rolls of toilet paper out of Costco
55.) Although sometimes I feel guilty that I’m reading those magazines because I know that the only way they get those toilet paper pictures is to stalk the celebrities and I feel bad for them that they have so little privacy.
56.) Although I’m always very surprised in the clothes that the rich and famous choose to wear to Costco. Don’t they know that the paparazzi will be out there? Wouldn’t they at least change out of their sweat pants and Uggs if they know they're going to end up in US Weekly?
57.) Even I don’t go to Costco in my pajamas, which means that celebrities are not really like us, if by us we mean me
58.) And I don’t actually go to Costco
59.) I think it’s too overwhelming
60.) I should not be able to buy a mattress at the same place I could buy a 2 gallon tube of peanut butter.
61.) Chunky peanut butter is superior to creamy.
62.) I once had to buy a small jar of creamy peanut butter for my peanut butter pie and only used half of it and the rest of it sat in my cupboard for a year because I couldn’t bring myself to using it on toast.
63.) Peanut butter on toast with either boysenberry jam or honey, if there is no jam, is my number 1 all time favorite dearest to my heart comfort food.
64.) I don’t like the phone
65.) If you have called me and I didn’t answer or return your call, don’t feel bad.
66.) It’s not you, it’s me.
67.) Plus, you’re not alone.
68.) It’s just that I have this anxiety that I won’t have anything to say and then there will be this dead silence and I’ll feel awkward.
69.) I only call people if I have something to say.
70.) I’m getting better about answering my phone.
71.) Really, I promise.
72.) Writing a list of 100 mostly uninteresting things is very exhausting to me
73.) I can’t stay on the same radio station for long when I’m in the car
74.) Which means that sometimes I find myself on KOST 103.5
75.) And sometimes I zone out
76.) And suddenly I find myself singing along to a Toni Braxton song
77.) And I’m a little embarrassed that I know all the words.
78.) I have a scar on the inside of my left elbow that is shaped like a Nike swoosh.
79.) I got it from a popcorn popper covered in sizzling oil during my glory days as a movie theater concessionaire
80.) When I told my manager that I thought I should probably go to the doctors because the burn was oozing blood she said to suck it up and get back to work
81.) I still want to be an astronaut when I grow up.
82.) But for now I’ll settle for a jet-pack
83.) I can point out any country in the world on a blank map
84.) I did this because I realized at 25 that I didn’t know where Ohio was on the map.
85.) It steamrolled from there
86.) I love maps
87.) I think one of the saddest things is when there is no more cocoa in my mug.
88.) This happens almost every morning around 10
89.) The only pet I’ve ever had was a turtle named Sheldon who ran away twice and never made it back the second time
90.) I use to work for a vet
91.) While there I was bitten once by a dog and once by a bird.
92.) I was holding the dog at the time and when he bit me I drop kicked him out the back door into the parking lot
93.) It felt good to see him flying through the air
94.) Men in turtlenecks give me the heebs
95.) So do boys choirs
96.) And wet hair in the shower drain
97.) My favorite Abba song is Fernando
98.) It’s my ring tone
99.) Sometimes it’s not my fear of phones that keeps me from picking up but my love of thumb-mic-ing to Fernando
100.) I love my blog

13 comments:

Nora's world said...

I think you are the only person who could do this and actually want to make me read all 100.

Empress of Venus said...

First, LOL. I can't read your blog unless other people around me are being loud.

17.) Hell hath the best musicians, angel.
41.) Rachel you had the Gobloots.
97.) I remember long ago, another starry night like this...
101.) Tell the truth, "Louise Rennison" is your pen name.

Andrea said...

Congratulations on 100 blogs! I loved everyone and this one tops them all! Thanks for making me laugh!

Ms. Liz said...

Rachel,
I'll admit it - I stop by everyday and the only time I'm disappointed is when there isn't a new blog. I am always thoroughly entertained but it took me about 20 minutes to read this whole post because I kept having to recover from openly guffawing and censuring looks.
I just - love you.
Thank you for existing. And blogging. Happy 100! The mini pinwheel attached to my monitor went off, shot sparks and played "Hail to the Chief" just for you. And I sang along.

jessi said...

and I love your blog too! Happy 100th post!

Mom said...

Happy 100th!!! Thanks for making me laugh out loud. Not too many thing do, but I love coming to your blog each day for my daily dose of laughter. I wish I could take credit for your wittiness but I can't. I can just enjoy it. I would also like to thank your many friends that also make me laugh and ponder. You all warm my heart. I love you!!!
MOM

Amanda said...

We love you too Ginger!!
Oh, yeah and Rachel. This is your blog after all. It is just about my favorite thing when your mom comments. Maybe I should do a special Ginger post on mine so you would feel compelled to comment for me? Yes?
Back to Rachel. I feel that I am with you on many of these or wish that I was, which is one of the reasons we are such good friends. I too have a problem with men in turtlenecks and haven't drop kicked a dog but wanted to at 1:15 this morning and then again at 3:20 and 5:05 when the pup would stop yapping. Let him out and he peed on the deck!!!! Nice!
Here's to 100!!!!

Chris said...

So how do you all feel about the mock turtleneck? Cause I kind of like them. Can we still be friends?

Laura said...

I'll agree with everyone else...you are fabulous, and I didn't even know some of these things about you. Too many to comment on, but I will agree completely with the turtleneck thing - sorry Chris. And I am now inspired to learn all the countries. I know general vicinity for most of them, but I'd do a poor job if I had to label a map. It's now on my list for this year!

Tamar and Trevor said...

Thanks for making me laugh and I am totally with you on the phone thing. I get messages from people all the time saying "Tamar I know you are there PICK UP THE PHONE" but I don't. Congrats on 100!

Rachel said...

Chris, the general concensus is that any turtleneck is bad on a man. I'm going to have to agree. However, if you send me a picture of you in one I can put it up on the blog and we can have a vote. That should be fun.

I know we already shamed you out of wearing a Christmas tie to church, which means that you're a good sport who is willing to admit defeat.

Bronwyn said...

Rachel, I love your blog and finally have the courage to comment. Thanks for being such a good friend to Liz!!! You made me laugh out loud--I love the way you think. Hurray for your milestone. Thanks, Bronwyn

Liz W. said...

I'll echo my mom, Rachel, and say thank you for being my friend!