Thursday, January 31, 2008

The deep blue sea, the deep blue sea, there's lots to see in the deep blue sea.

Yesterday I was in a bit of a funk. Not a huge funk, just your average you're not sure where it came from or why you're in it but you know what it is and you want to get rid of it kind of funk. It was enough to make me want to put a blanket over my head and call it a day. But one of my goals for Liz's YOLTILALALB is to use my time after work more productively and while the act of putting a blanket over my head could count as exercise if I did it about a 1000 times, I doesn't quite fit into my ideal life. So I went to the gym, in the hopes that I would sweat out the funk, or at least see the Cat Woman. No luck on either. (Sidenote and possible future post: I have a feeling the gym is making me less funny. I'm concerned. Maybe my giant butt is the source of my sense of humor. Like Samson's hair. And here I am writing a "what I did last night" post. I'm officially dull as oatmeal. Drat!)

I came home and ate a bowl of cereal (because that's what I always want most when I'm in a funk) and decided that it was time to bring out the big guns. I needed Doris Day. I had a friend in college, Betsy, who loved Doris Day movies and would make us get one on almost every free-rental-Wednesday down at Scene One Video. We would pick up some brownie mix and when they were done baking we'd pull them out of the oven, put them in the middle of the living room floor and eat the brownies right out of the pan with forks while we watched Doris sing and prance around in cute outfits. Happy memories. There is are few things better for the soul than a warm pan of brownies and a Doris Day movie*.

So I popped in The Glass Bottom Boat, because even if Doris didn't do the trick Paul Lynde in a dress would. And while I watched I worked on Liz's stocking for a bit (Hey, I can't help that her birthday is in January. She'll have a whole year to enjoy it. And sorry, no hints. Wait for the picture.)(If you want a stocking for your birthday you had better put in your order now, with the minor celebrity of your choice, before I put them up on Etsy.)(Okay, one hint, because I can't stop giggling over it: lunging is involved. Picture me laughing like a loon right now.). So the Doris/cereal/lunging combo worked magic, but what really got me out of the funk was that wee little bird you see over there. I made her out of scraps from the World's Largest Felt Collection after I had gotten as far as I could on the stocking. I've named her Evelyn. She has issues with her equilibrium but she's pretty cute.

*Although not the one where she's married to an alcoholic Frank Sinatra and he gets into some accident. That one was depressing. So depressing that I've completely blocked the name of it out of my memory.

16 comments:

Empress of Venus said...

I should like to have a stocking Rachel, and not just because everyone should have one but because ours have been eaten by the Basement Troll. I'm happy with anything you concoct about JRM.:) Hey which is the Doris Day movie where someone drives a car into a pool? Or is that all of them?

Gina said...

Richard Simmons

Ms. Liz said...

I'm with you on the gym sucking the interesting out of you. I just pretend the place is a petridish of LA culture and try to imagine what people around me do for a living and how the people that work there came to "work at a gym". Thats like a double whamy of boring. Work and the gym. So sad. Also -the thought of my own Rachel Stocking (which I would hang with panache in my cubicle all year round) is new levels of happy. If something with Gene Wilder or Gerard Butler appeared sometime in the summer months I'd be set for life.

Rachel said...

Okay, wait, before we go further, I can only do funny stockings. Sorry, but JRM is not funny. Nor is Gerard Butler. (Dear Gerard, Will you please be my boyfriend? Love, Rachel) Gerard would be lovely on a stocking, without a shirt, but if I can't laugh at it then there would be no magic in it and you want magic, right? Gina had the right idea (maybe even the PERFECT idea) with Richard Simmons. You may see that one before November.

Laura said...

I think Richard Simmons is FAB. And he has to have the little short-shorts and a sparkley matching tank top!

And the Doris Day movie with someone driving the car into the pool is The Thrill of It All. I love that movie...it's the one where she starts selling laundry detergent on TV.

Rac said...

Since Dwight Schrute is already taken, can I have a Napolean Dynamite one? Or, even better, Uncle Rico?

Amanda said...

I love Evelyn! What a cute birdie! You need to fix her equilibrium problem and make a mom and some baby Evelyn's and sell them on Etsy. They'd be so cute in a little nursery.

Bronwyn James said...

You are the queen of all things domestic and humorous. Not a bad combination. I think I'm the queen of all things dull-but-wishing-for-more. It's not great, but every woman should be queen of something.

Gina said...

OK...I actually don't want a Richard Simmons stocking. I really thought that's what you were making Liz because of the whole "lunging" comment. I'm laughing now even thinking about it.

Pretty soon, I'll fit into the category of sweating to the oldies, when he starts recording 80's songs. Then we could really dance to Billy Idol and say, "I remember when..."

Andrea said...

I would love one of your famous stockings! But I can't think of anyone funny. I guess you could do Michael Jackson. You could make it like the Hasselhoff one but instead of pants that can come on and off, maybe you could make different noses. Or even a black MJ from the Thriller days with a white one to place over the black one.

Amanda said...

Great idea Andrea. The before and after MJ!

Heather said...

Richard and MJ are both great ideas!!! Rachel, sounds like you have enough orders to keep you busy all year!
I'm always a little jealous of people like you who can somehow make art come to life! That creativite thing jumped right over me in my family...but at least I can appreciate the talent in others! I expect pictures of them all to make cameos on your blog!

Heather said...
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Empress of Venus said...

Alright alright I give, JRM is no laughing matter. I change my order to a David Bowie stocking then. You can't tell me that wouldn't be funny.

Empress of Venus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Liz said...

David Bowie could work as long as it was when he was going through his Ziggy Stardust phase, or maybe in one of the costumes from "The Labyrinth."