Thursday, January 10, 2008

Toe Thumb

Because I went to bed at 8:00 last night (You know what number is in 8:00? 80!) I woke up all bright and early at 5:15, took my shower and got back into bed and watched the news to get the traffic report. But before the traffic came on I saw two things I'd like to comment on.

1.) They did a Special Report on "Headache causes that may surprise you!" I was thinking that maybe scientists have learned that fluffy bunnies cause head aches, or broccoli, or too much Tyra Banks (that would not be surprising though). But instead they have discovered that things like too much sugar, and lack of sleep, and really tight ponytails, and hunger, and stress bring on headaches. Hm. Fascinating. They don't know why these things cause headaches but they're pretty sure that they do. Apparently, this cracker jack team is made up of scientists who have had headaches who like to make logical guesses. I knew I was dealing with experts when the reporter, in a tone that sounded as if they just discovered what causes cancer, said, "It may surprise you that you can get a headache when you don't get enough WATER!"

2.) Immediately following the special headache report I saw something that no one should have to see before 6am. A man who had lost his thumb in a tragic thumb-losing accident had his big toe sewn on in it's place. Ick! It looked...well, it looked like a big toe, complete with hair and a fungus-y nail. It basically made me not want breakfast. Which was fine because I ended up falling back asleep and waking up with just enough time to do my hair, thus maintaining my resolution to not go to work looking like a hobo anymore.


Andrea said...

Have I mentioned how much I love your blog? It's sad to live so far away from you but with your blog I can totally picture you saying every word!
And that toe thing? That is totally disgusting although I bet he'd make a great hitchhiker!

Liz the Poet said...

First of all, you wake up early enough to watch the news, while in bed, no less?

I barely have enough time to make sure my shoes match before I have to head out the door!

Secondly, as a headache sufferer, thanks for passing on the "breaking news" about common headache causes.

I don't understand why news reporters waste their time with such things.

It's like when they say "Storm Watch 2008" because it's supposed to rain for two days, or "Wind Tunnel 2008" because they saw leaves blowing.


Chris said...

OK, first of all I guess those "scientists" have a keen eye for the obvious.

Second of all, I heard that the best replacement thumb isn't the big toe, but actually the second toe (not the index finger, but the index toe). It's just as functional and it doesn't look quite so obvious that it's a toe. Have I told you about the kid on my dance team that has six fingers on one hand, well actually he has 4 fingers and 2 thumbs.

rachelsaysso said...

Chris, you have mentioned the six fingered guy and I'm still waiting for a picture. Maybe he should think about donating his other thumb for someone who's lost theirs.

Liz, 5:15 is an hour before I actually get up but a half hour before I would need to get up in order to get to not look like a hobo. Which is why I almost always look like a hobo. It was a very abnormal morning

Andrea-I miss you. Come back to California. I'm sad I didn't get to see you when I was out there.

Stacy said...

Chris I knew a guy like that too, but he had two thumbs on each hand. Really, it's true. I'm not trying to be a one-upper, but he was a pianist and had great span. I think he could reach an octave and a half.

Wendy said...

Aha! So one of the qualifications to be a Knecht in-law is to know someone with too many thumbs! Make this one of your opening questions whenever you meet new prospects and it will immediately narrow the field, I'm sure...

Karina & John Calderwood said...

I have recently been trying to catch up with everyone's blogs and just wanted to say THANK YOU for making me smile and laugh and just feel darn good. I love reading your entries!