A patient brought in homemade biscotti for us as a little holiday thank-you for curing her yeast infection. What? You've never had your chiropractor treat your yeast infection? You are so 20th century western medicine.
I'm not a big fan of biscotti*, mostly because I've never had success eating them. They're usually shaped like a bread stick but taste kind of like a cookie, but never as good, and that confuses my senses. And they're crumbly so when you bite into them they kind of fall apart just as you're putting it in your mouth and then you have crumbs all over you. They're a mystery.
But CeCe's energy push yesterday did not help today because we were dead and I was falling asleep, so I thought that I would have a biscotti with the hopes that the sugar would do me some good. Little did I know what danger lurked in those Italian quasi-cookies.
Anise! Loads and loads of anise!
I hate anise. I hate black licorice. Even the smell makes me gag a little. It baffles me how people can like it. Seriously, tell me why you like it? I truly want to know. Because I've never tasted a dirty sock dipped in Clorox but I imagine that black licorice isn't far from it.
And there I was with a crumbly mouth full of it. Another problem with biscotti is that it's dry and it doesn't exactly leave the mouth easily. I had to chew and chew and chew and then I flushed it down with about a gallon of water and the nasty taste is still in my mouth. Bleh!
And so, I think it needs to be done:
A Royal Decree!
We hearby decree that black licorice, or black licorice flavoring, such as anise or Clorox, shall never be used in foods. Being a Benevolent Queen, we shall allow black licorice to remain for those subjects, such as the Queen Mum, who enjoy it. But all black jelly beans shall be removed from any assort bag, as the Queen does not care to be casually snacking on jelly beans and unknowingly pop a black one in our mouth and have it stuck in our teeth for several unpleasant minutes, thus causing death by grossness. And while we're at it, the Queen would like to ban biscotti too, because it confuses her.
Hugs and Kisses,
Your Queen o' the Universe
*Remind me someday to tell you exactly how I feel about people who pronounce words the way they are pronounced in the country the word originated in.