Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Thoughts I had at the baseball game

Camille and I went to the Dodger game last night. We lost 3-0 and it lasted about 2 hours so it was a very uneventful game. I had a lot of time to think. Here are some highlights.

1.) I wish I knew how to whistle really loudly. I mean, really loud. The kind that you get every one's attention with.

2.) Fancy seats are not nearly as fun as not-so-fancy seats. We usually sit up in the loge with the regulars but last night we had tickets behind the visitor's dugout and while it was fun to be so close to first base, close enough to see the faces of every single Dodger get out there (Knights of Columbus! It was like the Rockies had tractor beams in their gloves), the people around us were duds. No one cheered, no one shouted, no one stood up when it was time to rally, no one sang along to "Don't Stop Believing". They all just sat there chatting with each other. It was bizarre. And I felt under-dressed. I didn't actually think that was possible at a baseball game.

3.) How come I've never had an ice cream cone at a ball game before?

4.) How come no one wears underwear anymore? How do I know this? Because pants sag when you sit, and when you stand up, say to get some nachos or to sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame, they're generally still in that sagging position and you have to hoist them up a bit. So when you're not wearing any undies and your pants are in the sagging position you show the unsuspecting person behind you a whole lot of butt. More than any person should ever have to see. Camille and I both gasped and averted our eyes when the man in front of us stood up. And then again when he sat down. Same with a woman a few rows ahead. I may have to send out a Royal Decree that if you're going commando you have to wear a belt.

5.) World Peace could be brokered if all the leaders of the nations got together and watched fireworks on the Dodger Stadium outfield. It's kind of magical out there.

8 comments:

Rebekah said...

I'm not huge on baseball but I totally understand the seating thing. The student section is so much more fun than the booster section at FSU football games!

The Katzbox said...

Not-so-fancy seats vs Fancy seats...I think there's some kind of metaphor for life there somewhere...and puhleese, how does an individual NOT sing "Don't Stop Believin'? when it's blaring all around you?...that's really unAmerican, when you think about it...and you can't claim that you don't know the words because it's now part of our genetic material....

The underwear thing?...what the heck...who does that?....and why?...and where oh where is that camera and the BIG SCREEN when that stuff is going on, eh?...

Sometimes...just sometimes...fireworks make me cry...in a very good way...

Kelly said...

You know what I find more disturbing? When someone stands up and you can see the top waistband on their thong. The flesh hanging out beneath before the pants start is just gross. I hate this because then I have to picture in my mind the dental floss action going on between her cheeks. Ick! How do they wear those?

Jasmine said...

isn't it frightening when you see a woman in heels and a mini, basically dressed to go clubbing at a baseball game? I have 2 small children and I am always frightened to sit be those people, because you know my son is going to drop mustard from his hotdog on the woman's shoe or something!!

I highly recommend a minor league game - everyone gets into thing there, there is singing, chants, the wave etc.

Rach said...

I used to go to BYU football games with my dad when I was little, and we sat in the faculty section. What a snoozer! I was super jealous of the people in the student section with blue paint on their faces and blue hair. They did the wave, they stood up a lot, and they enjoyed that newfangled rock and roll that was blaring. I was sitting (yes, sitting the whole time) next to the oldies with their old transistor radios tuned into KSL so they could hear the commentators. To me, that's the reason to be at the game. To NOT have to listen to the commentators. Plus to do the wave and wear blue paint. Otherwise, watch it at home in your armchair.

And I don't know Kelly, but I second what she says about the floss action and the top of thongs. Which I witnessed a lot in the student section at BYU games. Gross.

Heath said...

Sadly, I have to agree with Kelly: Whale-tails are way more disturbing than going commando. I don't know why, but it is....Last semester the girl sitting in front of me and to the left (towards the center of the class, so I could never really look away) was always showing her thong off...sick. It made me wonder why they make that little square hold in the chair backs.
PS- I can't whistle either.

KAREN KANE said...

I was at a baseball game on Tuesday night. The girl in front of me was wearing ripped low-rise jeans. Every time she got up I got a good view of her thong and the tattoo on her right cheek. Eww. Oh yeah, and older ladies who don't want to admit they're older wearing their bleached blond hair in up-dos with nasty blue animal print shirts with cut outs down the arm, so tight that you can see every roll, and the flesh just bulges out of every cut out like it is straining to get free. :-o

Mariah said...

I CAN whistle very loudly. My husband often asks me not to because he's ashamed of me when I do it. I'm awesome at sports events. Also I once went to the filming of Dancing with the Stars and was whistling my lips off and the people around me were covering their ears and giving me the evil eye, but I just decided I'd be that annoying girl that whistled way too loudly that they could tell their family and friends about after the show.
Also agree with the thong comments. It's even worse when it's a man thong. Gross. Those totally gross me out.