So, it looks like this has turned into my Week of Lists. You know you love it:
1.) Chiquita left for a meeting and on her way out she said, "I want you to come up with a funny, witty email to send to our clients for the 4th of July." And then I started to panic because I'm no good at on-the-spot wit. I can think of a million funny things to say on my own time but when someone asks for just one I turn into Stonehenge. I'm the Stonehenge of wit. But even that's a bad metaphor because Stonehenge is funny sometimes thanks to the druids. Druid hangouts = funny.
(Addendum: I showed Chiquita what I had written and she made me change the line "Eating our weight in corn on the cob" to "Eating our way to Heavenly Bliss". Hello!? Corn on the cob is way funnier than heavenly bliss. This is another reason why I panic when I have to be funny. What if the person hearing the joke doesn't get the joke?)
2.) For the last few months our freeways have been draped in lap-band billboards. (Readers in So. Cal. - testify!) Because they're EVERYWHERE. I've seen them on every freeway in every county. And they're usually clustered. So you see one and then another and then another, all within a quarter of a mile on both sides of the freeway. What it's basically saying is, "People of the Greater Los Angeles Area: You're fat!"
3.) The owner of the drive-thru dairy down the street from my office has put a ball in a sock and attached it to a string that is hanging from the rafter of the car port. He spends his down time hitting it with a cricket bat. It makes me want to pull in and get a Super Fudge Pop and have him explain the game to me.
4.) The chicken in my chicken quesadilla tasted a few days old. And there was a bone attached to it. I'm not making this up. So I would like to ask the good people of Claremont: Why do you love Patty's so much? You rave like loons about it, and yet I've always been underwhelmed.