I've been sucked into the World Cup. Maybe because I have a bracket to worry over. Especially now that my family has started a new tradition of prizes for the best bracket.
So I present to you several reasons why I don't like soccer and 1 reason I can't keep my eyes off of it.
I don't like soccer because:
1.) The field is too big and the players look like wee people,
2.) It is basically 90 to 120 minutes of failure. They shoot, they miss, the shoot again, they miss, they pass, it's intercepted, they pass again, intercepted again. And run and run and run and run and never get anywhere. Failure all over the place.
3.) Even though off-sides has been explained to me I still don't get it. Oh, I can tell you the details of it, but I can also tell you the details of how airplanes fly. The details don't stop me from being mystified.
4.) The players annoy me with all their fakery. I want to yell at them, "Get up, you big baby!" because enough with all the rolling around and grabbing your leg and whining. (Says the girl who cries when she gets a splinter.)
5.) The commentators don't yell "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL" on ESPN.
I can't keep my eyes off of it because:
1.) It's magic. No, seriously. It has to be some kind of weird voodoo because why would I enjoy watching men I can hardly make out spend 90 minutes basically not doing their job - which is to get the ball in the goal. And yet every time I sit down to watch a game I can barely turn away long enough to get myself another OtterPop.*
*As this is the second consecutive mention of OtterPops I would like to inform you that Katie found JUMBO OTTERPOPS at CostCo. I had to have two tonight to rehydrate myself after all the crying I did over a book. Now that is magic.
Amendment following this morning's game: CURSE YOU THE NETHERLANDS!!!!!!!! You have single handedly KILLED my bracket. Oh, Brazil, I had such hope.