Thursday, December 13, 2007

Beware of Falling Anvils

There are two types of people in the world: those who pass on cutesy e-mails to everyone in their contact list and those who want an anvil to fall on those people. I'm in the latter group.

Christmas time is like...um...Christmas for that first group. I think everyday this week I've gotten an e-mail with some combination of flying teddy bear angels/dancing Christmas trees/talking reindeer all with Jingle Bell Rock playing in the background. Or I'm assuming because I usually delete these without even looking. I've seen enough of them to know that there is always a flying teddy bear angel wishing you Merry Christmas and pass it on or you'll get scurvy and DIE!

But I had to look at the one I got today because the subject was "Birthday Message for Jesus," and well, I didn't want to miss that. When I saw what it was I literally put my head down on my desk and sighed. Turns out it's an INVITATION TO HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY.

No, I will not pass this on to you. You can't make me. But here are a few highlights:

Attire: Come as you are... grubbies are okay. He'll be washing our clothes anyway. He said something about new white robes and crowns for everyone who stays till the last.

Refreshments: New wine, bread, and a far-out drink He calls "Living Water," followed by a supper that promises to be out of this world!

Party being given by His Kids (that's us!!)! Hope to see you there! For those of you whom I will see at the party, share this with someone today!

I'm officially throwing up now. And so...

A Royal Proclamation:

Any subject found passing on cutesy e-mails, especially those depicting the atonement as some neat party trick, will have an anvil fall on them.

Signed, The Queen o' the Universe

10 comments:

Laura said...

Who ARE these people? Not only the ones that pass them on, but the ones that write them in the first place! I fully support the anvil plan.

Remember that Gilmore Girls episode where Lorelai goes on this whole tirade about "where did all the anvils go?" Maybe I'm the only one that's watched these episodes about 47 times each.

Heather said...

Long live the Queen!!!

Gina said...

Did Sheila or Sherry send that e-mail?

sam rosener said...

My rule is if the email doesn't make you laugh out loud, no matter where you are, don't forward it. Penguins getting slapped in the back of the head and falling through the ice? Send it. Something "inspirational" to "brighten my day"? That one is going straight to the junk mail folder and you are going on the bad list.

Rachel said...

Sherry. Good guess.

Stacers said...

Here, here, Queen o' Universe! I too agree with the anvil plan. If you're the one dropping them, I have a whole list of people you could help me out with.

Stacers said...

Here, here, Queen o' Universe! I too agree with the anvil plan. If you're the one dropping them, I have a whole list of people you could help me out with.

Chris said...

An anvil for all of them...except my Mom. (Yes, she's been known to pass on a few teddy bears.) P.S. I love the count-down until vacation.

Liz said...

"and a far-out drink He calls "Living Water,"

What is happening to our world?

Rac said...

I thought I was alone in a world full of horribly cheesy emails. It's nice to know there are so many other people who hate them as much as I do. The worst part about the FW only people is that I never seem to get a normal email from them.