Friday, December 14, 2007

I really did try to plant those trees

Whenever someone starts out a conversation by saying, "I had the weirdest dream last night..." my mind starts to wander to more interesting places, like the cracker aisle at the grocery store, because believe me, Ritz crackers are way more interesting to me then what you dreamed about last night. Here's why: there's no response to other people telling you about a dream they had. They can say, "I dreamed I was in hand to hand combat with a giant gherkin," and all you can say is, "That's so weird," and only kind of mean it. Because it's not really that weird. It's a dream. They're suppose to be weird.*

So you see, on a personal ethics level I'm very hesitant to tell you about these dreams I've been having. But I think there's some significance to them so here you go. Feel free to think about your favorite food aisle if you're not that interested.

I've been having this recurring dream lately: I'm traveling around with about 20 people trying to get things done. I'm never by myself and there are usually a handful of people that I know and at least one celebrity in the group. We always have a list of errands we need to get done but we're somehow always sidetracked or diverted, like we intend to go somewhere but we always end up somewhere else. And we never travel by car. We're almost always on bikes or walking. For instance, last night I dreamed that I was with a large group that included Katie, Silvia, Valerie (It was an Appel-apalooza!) and Marley Matlin. We had a long list of things we had to get done, like go to the gym and take a yoga class, only the gym was packed with wall to wall people, like a refugee camp. Everyone had sweat bands on their heads and were huddled under dirty blankets. So we decided to ride our bikes up to the craft store to get embroidery floss but we ended up going by a park that we had to plant trees at, except that we couldn't because (and I'm not making this up) a polycarbonate substance was covering all the flower beds. I literally said in my dream, "It's a polycarbonate substance." I had to look up what a polycarbonate was this morning.

After I found that out I googled "dream interpretations" and got a load of links. I don't ever think about interpreting dreams because 1.) I don't often remember my dreams and 2.) they're usually more funny than weird and we all know that explanations always make things that are funny less funny. But because I've had a variation of this dream about once a month for the last year now I decided it was time I figured it out.

Here's what I found:

bikes = bright prospects
parks = enjoyable leisure
sewing (embroidery floss) = domestic peace
gym = material prosperity
errands = harmony and mutual understanding in my domestic sphere

Friends, this can only mean one thing. My Wealthy Benefactor is ON HIS WAY!!!!! I can finally live my life as a Woman of Elegant Leisure! Clearly, I will get to use his funds (after he buys me my top three luxury items**) to help people in the need (the sweat-banded refugees) and the deaf (Marley Matlin) and the parks and recreation department (tree planting). And it looks like Katie, Silvia, Valerie and that crowd of people I'm always with will get to join in the fun.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure the polycarbonate substance means that my WB made his fortune in a chemical lab. Rich and smart! Dream come true.

*If you ever actually are in hand to hand combat with a giant gherkin then that would really be something. And please tell me about it. That is way more interesting then Ritz.

**1.) Slurpee machine, 2.) golf cart, 3.) chocolate fountain large enough to swim in.

3 comments:

Laura said...

By posting this, you are definitely opening yourself up to people telling you all of their weird dreams. It is fun to intepret them sometimes though. I have a theory about dream interpretation that the meaning is usually one of three things. First, it could be that you're really stressed or anxious about something. It's your mind's way of just releasing junk, and doesn't really mean anything. Second, it's that something in the dream is something you saw or thought about recently (like did you see Marley Matlin on TV or something?) And third, it's that it really does mean something. I'm going to vote for #3 on your dream (but I only if I can come over and swim in the chocolate)!

Liz said...

You know, I just saw a show advertised (on TLC or Discovery Health or something like that)which deals with a dream interpreter lady.

You could totally be on that show, be seen by your future wealthy benefactor, and then live your life as an Elegant Woman of Leisure! And I'll become "Liz, your literary sidekick."

My job will be to always keep your Slurpee cup full, the golf cart charged, and the chocolate at just the right temperature.

Valerie said...

Even though I know you have no control over who appears in your dreams, I feel really flattered that I made an appearance. I'm going to try to include you in a dream tonight, preferably holding a high ranking government position, or being a spy. A spy placed to infiltrate the chorus lines of Broadway musicals.