I was getting ready for work this morning when I noticed something on my upper lip. Something black. Something that looked like hair.
The following is an excerpt from the inner monologue I had (exclamation points, italics and caps included):
"A hair! I officially have a mustache! I'm an 80 year old woman with a MUSTACHE! I know it was only a matter of time before I got one but Knights of Columbus, I'm too young to have a mustache! I already have rogue eyebrow hairs sprouting up on my eyelids! Haven't I suffered enough!?!? I'm going to have to wax! Or I could bleach. But if I bleach it I won't ever be able to go outside again because it will catch the light of the sun and someone will say, 'Hey, you got something glittering on your lip,' and then they'll go in for a better look and then recoil in disgust. Or I could pluck, but it looks pretty sturdy. Like it has deep roots. Like it's sucking all the youth and vitality right out of me. NO! Waxing is my only option. Or maybe I should just go to the Home for the Ugly and Tragic and wear muumuus and support hose for the rest of my life!"
Upon closer inspection I turned out to be one of my rogue eyebrow hairs that landed on my lip after vigorous plucking. Crisis averted.
For now.
6 comments:
Whew! So glad for you.
Oh man, that was funny. So, I just went to the skin doc and found out that the bumps my mom thought might be skin cancer are AGE SPOTS. So when the mustache days come, we can be roomies at the Tragic and Ugly home. I'll bring the barbeque, you bring the brownies.
Geez...wish I were so lucky to only find a single lip hair. I can't even remember how young I was when I had to take drastic grooming measures for rogue hairs.
Your lucky. Thanks to my lovely dark hair and Italian roots I've had a mustache since I was about 13. I have bleached, and really want/need to wax. Most of the time I just have a mustache which you probably remember seeing on me. Oh the joys of dark hair.
I discovered nose hairs a few months back and guess what I did? Nair.
Yep. Put Nair up my nose. Did I mention I'm a relatively educated woman? The pain lasted for weeks. And the hairs were still there. I shouldn't have been looking up my nose with a magnifying mirror anyway...who would have been able to see them?...I know enough about physiology to realize that those hairs perform a function, but something came over me (an idiot fog) and I Naired my sinus cavities as far up as I could humanly reach. They didn't look or feel right for weeks and weeks. I'm not proud, I'm just telling you that things can always be worse...and people can always be, ummm, stupider.
has your beard come in yet? my moustaches are very pale, but *I* see them. bleach takes care of it, but bleach does nothing about the 8 or so persistent beard hairs that have appeared in random spots on my chin.
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