Saturday, August 14, 2010

Things I would tell you over ice cream

Are you all getting a little tired of me stringing together several unrelated topics to create a post? Too bad. I like to imagine that you're over for ice cream cones and reruns of Gilmore Girls and these are all things I would bring up to you. So just take it as a sign of friendship.

1. My sisters and I went to the Harry Connick, Jr. concert last night at the Hollywood Bowl. You know how in all that old footage of the Beatles or Elvis there are tons of girls swooning - just passing out right in the crowd? I never got that. Until I saw Harry several years ago. I totally swooned. And there were a couple of moments last night when I had to lean in on one of the girls to support myself. Swoony McSwoonster.

2. Lindsay has been invited to a 90s themed party and we were trying to come up with a good costume for her to wear. We decided on the Daria/Lisa Loeb look of Docs, pleated skirt, long cardie, flipped out hair and librarian glasses. Grunge seems a little too obvious.

3. The patients' bathroom at the Pod is right next to the front desk and there is no fan in there so without even trying or caring to we hear everything. EVERYTHING. For example, the other day I could distinctly hear a man in there pee and then flush and then he immediately came out. What I did not hear was him turning the faucet on to wash his hands. Nor was their time for him to do so. I should also mention, although it has no relevance, that he was talking on the phone the entire time he was in there. For the record, I will dump you as a friend if you ever do that to me. Since I don't exactly know the proper way to tell a grown man that he needs to wash up after performing certain tasks I sneaked around the office telling all the staff that Patient X did not wash his hands and to take care. I mentioned this to Katie and told her I had no idea how to handle it and she suggested I bring it to you. What would you have done in this situation and if you were going to say anything, how would you phrase it?

4. Did you know that it is "sneaked" and not "snuck"? True. Snuck has become so common that it is in most dictionaries and isn't usually corrected by spell check but it really is sneaked. I try really hard to say snuck because it sounds natural and right and I am a believer in the language changing with the times as long as it's not offensive like "I seen," and besides, I have maybe only heard 2 other people say sneaked. So I do try but every time I do I hear the voice of Mrs. Snyder, my 11th grade English teacher, saying, "You sneaked in your sneakers. Not snuck in your snuckers." So if you hear me say sneaked instead of snuck please don't think less of me. She was a very influential teacher. Even though she made me read Moby Dick. And here is where I put in the disclaimer that most of the time I don't notice grammar errors because I'm having such a great time talking with you and I make them myself, all the time actually, and furthermore, I would never correct you because that's just rude, nor will I ever think less of you because I love you. Come over for Gilmore Girls and ice cream any time.


Rach said...

I would so love to come over and eat ice cream and watch Gilmore Girls reruns with you. I just need to perfect the genie blink so I can get there quickly.

I have had correct grammar drilled into my head my entire life, because my grandpa was an English professor at BYU, and since he drilled it into my dad, my dad drilled it into me. I, however, only correct myself and not others, because I think it's ridiculous to correct other people when you know exactly what they mean. So we're on the same page.

Gross. Why don't people wash their hands? And who thinks peeing and talking on the phone should happen simultaneously? Ick! Like anyone would like to hear someone peeing over the phone. I guess, if the patient came back into the waiting room, you could offer him some hand sanitizer with a pointed look. But gross. Grown ups know better. My 5-year-old knows better.

Andrea said...

I don't know what to tell you about the guy not washing his hands. I still can't believe how many of my co-workers don't wash their hands. They are the ones that tease me every time I whip out the Lysol wipes and clean the computers that we all share. And they are the reason why I don't participate in office potlucks.

The Katzbox said...

Awww....what a nice post...except for that man in the bathroom....what the heck. The sad thing, I think that's ALMOST the norm for guys. Females have issues with it, but guys are pretty bad. After a chemistry class in college, we were all convinced to wash our hands BEFORE we went to the bathroom....pathogens are nasty buggers.

I would not be above putting a sign in there-on the wall where men can see it while they're standing and doing their business,and I would totally use "pre-shame" as an inducement. "we can hear if you wash your hands or not...AND we're totally judging you"


Johanna said...

lets just say that a 'relative' of mine went through a phase of not washing his hands after using the bathroom. The way our family handled it is as follows

Offender goes to bathroom

Offender does business

Offender flushes

1 second later Offender walks out of bathroom (clearly not enough time has passed to include hand washing)

entire familiy yells as loud as possible

Offender sighs - washes hands and rejoins the family

Offender continues to re-offend

Family goes to restaurant for dinner

steps 1 - 4 take place

entire familiy yells as loud as possible

WHOLE restaurant stops and stares

Offender never offends again!

The Katzbox said...

I love Johanna's family.

Amanda said...

First of all, I don't want to offend all your other faithful readers, but I saw the title of this post and thought for sure you were talking directly to me. And then you mentioned Harry and I knew! I'm holding back a tear, knowing that I missed the swoon fest.
I have a simple solution for the hand washing thing. When the guy comes out, you just say 'Oh, are we out of soap in there?' You know, in that tone that is so innocent like you just want to help out and are appalled that you would let the soap dispenser go empty.
This would even work if he didn't approach you. You could shout it at him. If he dared ask why, you could get all sheepish and say 'well, that door is so thin, we can hear the faucet go on.' Problem solved. You're welcome.

Mariah said...

I would have said that you should offer hand sanitiser everyone that comes out of the bathroom, washed or not, so they don't think they're being singled out but they're still sanitised. But I like Amanda's suggestion. And Johanna deary, too bad I know you and your family and I can probably guess who that "relative" is. At least he'd probably laugh about it now.

Wendy said...

Happy Birthday today! My birthday wish for you is that all of the Pod's patients wash their hands. And that you get to eat a lot of ice cream.

Tina said...

I would have offered him some hand sanitizer as he exited the bathroom. Then I would have typed up a nice sign saying..."We can hear everything you do in here...including not washing your hands. In order to diminish the spread of germs...please do so before you re-enter the lobby. Thank you!"

teresa p said...

I'm finally catching up on blog reading, working backwards until I got to this, the very last post of your blog I hadn't read yet. Those last lines are totally for me, aren't they? :) Maybe everyone says the same thing to you, but I know I have.

Happy birthday! Don't leave for Tunisia without saying goodbye.